


Silence

by Daisy1600



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: I hope this came across the way I wanted it to, Introspection, M/M, Post-SHIELD Reunion, Seth just wants Dean to feel loved and okay, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 04:09:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12999546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisy1600/pseuds/Daisy1600
Summary: Seth does some introspective thinking.





	Silence

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to a cover of Silence by Marshmello the other night and, even though I don't know the true meaning of the song, it made me think of Dean. So, I interpreted it in a way I thought fit Ambrollins, and here we are! Enjoy, I suppose.

All Dean's life he's been a fighter. And Seth just wishes that for once, he'd allow himself the freedom to be a lover. Let his guard down and really open up to him about his troubles and tribulations with past relationships that left him burned and susceptible to further damage down the road. 

He knew his dirty-blond haired companion has never truly felt comfort in his thirty-something years of being alive on this planet. What with growing up in a broken home, having been raised by a single parent, and having lived in public housing. 

You name it, he's probably been through it at one point or another. 

Love has always left him alone. In the dark. Everyone that's ever said to have loved him had left him- or he left them. Whichever way one chose to look at it, Seth knew he contributed to the mile-long list of problems Dean Ambrose carried with him day-to-day. 

He had left him three years ago, after he told Dean he loved him. Mere weeks later, he betrayed him. Broke his trust, broke his heart, and ruined any chance he had at ever getting an "I love you" in return. All because he wanted to rise to the top of the company and make it big with the help of the worst people imaginable- The Authority. God, what he would give to turn back time and bitch slap himself across the face- tell him he's making the biggest, worst mistake of his entire life and to stay by his partner's side. Keep Dean safe in a way nobody else could. Not even Roman. 

He tried not to dwell on the unpleasant memory, told himself that all of that was in the past and all that mattered now was that they were together and stronger than ever. They'd started things back up by becoming tag-team partners winning the Raw tag-team titles, and now they've gotten The Shield back together for good. He had his Dean back. The tall man with the wacky sense of humor and the awkward gait after one of their frequent cuddling sessions on the couch or bed of whatever hotel room they're staying in that night. 

What really bothers him is when Dean tells him there's no point in trying. He did that quite often for the first couple of months of them being a tag-team partners. Seth never listened to his warnings- or rather his moments of self-doubt and feelings of being a burden. Apparently, Dean's felt like a big one his entire life. Mainly to his mother and his Shield brethren. 

The knowledge broke Seth's heart. Made him wish he could hold his best friend and partner tight, shield him from his inner demons and past experiences with himself and other ex-lovers. 

He wanted to be his savior. Not as a favor, but out of the kindness of his heart. He wanted to take care of Dean and give him a loving home to come back to when they weren't on the road. Or even when they were on it. After all, home was a feeling, not a place. He wanted to be that constant in his life keeping him sane, and to be that shoulder to lean - or cry - on after a difficult loss. Whether that be losing someone close to him, or an unfair match in the ring. 

Just thinking of Dean in the ring made Seth remember all the times the former has bounced on the balls of feet atop the curtain of the ring, eagerly waiting to be tagged into the match. And once Seth or Roman had done the honors of tagging in the wired Lunatic Fringe, he'd watch in awe as his Dean let out all of his unadulterated rage. 

In a strange, inexplicable kind of way, he found peace in it. The violence. Him and Dean both, he learned long ago. It's one of the many things they had in common. They both needed a war to fight. And without one... well, Seth wouldn't know how either of them would cope with the mass amount of pent up anger and rage at the universe they keep locked away. 

He knows Dean can't fully let go of his own past, of all the mistakes he's made. Of all the people who've wronged him. He knows his partner thinks too much for his own good, and hates that about himself. 

Dean likes to dwell on all the negative things in his life. And Seth's been quiet, nearly silent about all his qualms on the touchy subject for far too long. And it's high time Dean hears Seth's views on his self-destructive habits and puts an end to them once and for all. 

Rolling onto his other side, he faced Dean on the hotel room bed, enjoying watching him sleep for a while. It was rare that he saw this soft, completely unguarded side of his partner. Only in his sleep did Dean look as young as he did in that very moment. 

Sighing softly, Seth leaned in little closer, absentmindedly running his fingers through Dean's messy curls until he began to stir. He pressed a kiss to the sleepy man's forehead. 

He chuckled when his behemoth of a boyfriend sought after his lips, sleepily kissing the corner of his mouth until Seth placed a hand on his cheek and guided him in the right direction. He relished the feeling of his own lips slotting together with Dean's dry, slightly chapped ones. 

Seth always offers to let him borrow his chapstick so that his lips won't crack or bleed in the wintertime, but Dean would always decline, saying he had a perfectly good tub of Vaseline at home he could put to good use. What didn't make sense to Seth was why Dean would choose to suffer - due to his tub of goop being hundreds, if not thousands of miles away at all times - when he could take the easy route and just accept the needed assistance, or help. Whatever he wanted to call it. 

"Not that I don't enjoy the thought of you being all spontaneous and romantic, but what the hells gotten into you?" Dean murmured into the dim room, eyes still closed. Seth inhaled deeply through his nose, not wanting to remove his forehead from where it rested against his partner's. 

"Dean.. this has been on my mind for ages.. Probably as long as we've been back together for- hell, maybe even longer. And- and I've kept my mouth shut, stayed silent about it all for far too long," he paused, listening closely to the hitch in his partner's easy breathing. Dean didn't move away, but slung an arm over the brunet's waist to keep him close. Seth felt the other's fingers nervously run through his long hair, the calming sensation being the only thing keeping the both of them tethered down. "I.. I know I've told you I love you, and you've said it back, but - and I'm not trying to discount your feelings or anything -, but I feel as though you don't fully understand those three words I tell you every morning, many, many times throughout the day, and at night before bed. You think too much- dwell on all the bad in your life and- and I don't want that for you. 

"I want you to come talk to me when you're feeling down, or just crappy in general, instead of you wandering off by yourself at night, not coming home until it's practically light outside with bloodied knuckles and dirt on the knees of your jeans. I love you so much, Dean. So fucking much. And I am truly, deeply sorry for all of the bad things I've done to you in and outside the ring. But I'm not that guy anymore- or maybe I ever truly was.. Anyway, I just wanted to voice my thoughts on your self-destructive habits. You know, maybe help you through a few things, take a little bit of the weight off your shoulders. I'm almost done, but I just wanted to say one more thing right quick before I forget. You're not a burden to me. Never have been, and never will be. I love having you around. You're my home, and you're partner, Dean. In every sense of the word. And I hope you feel the same about me." 

Dean didn't say a word throughout Seth's entire little speech, but his breath had become ragged and uneven at more than one point during it. And, now that his partner was finished speaking, he enveloped him in a tight hug. His face buried in the crook of Seth's neck. The latter wrapped an arm around Dean, his free hand coming up to run through his unruly curls that were his absolute weakness, and lightly caress his cranium. 

Neither of them dared to speak a word, too caught up in the moment to even notice anything going on outside their little bubble. Such as the sun slowly beginning to rise above the horizon, making its presence be known. 

They stayed that way for quite some time, Dean's silence saying a lot about their current situation. Their legs were tangled together beneath the sheets, as well as the rest of their limbs. Seth could hardly tell where he started and Dean began, it was almost like they were conjoined. The thought made him chortle, and so he pressed a chaste kiss to the dirty-blond's forehead. 

When the sun was at its halfway point in the sky, Dean removed his head from the crook of his partner's neck and opened his eyes in time to meet chocolate brown ones. 

Straining to keep the moisture in his eyes at bay, he swallowed thickly and choked out four words. But they were the only four words Seth needed to hear in that moment. 

"I love you too,"


End file.
